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Teen insists Switchfoot just as cool as Radiohead
Author: LarkNews.com, Joel Kilpatrick
Fake News Courtesy of LarkNews.com , Joel Kilpatrick
PITTSBURGH - James Bryan, 16, dealt a serious blow to his popularity when he insisted that Christian band Switchfoot is "as cool as Radiohead" during a lunchtime argument with peers.
"Switch-who?" said Dustin Williams, the current arbiter of cool at Matteson High School.
Crimson-faced, Bryan explained that Switchfoot had just won several Dove awards. At that point, several on-lookers guessed that the band was Christian, and they faded away to avoid Bryan's sudden social radioactivity.
Bryan had seen the band perform at Calvary Christian Center over the weekend, and that excitement led to his fatal social blunder. In a desperate attempt to redeem himself, he continued in a loud voice, "I didn't mean they're better than Radiohead. Nobody would say that! I just meant that with practice, maybe someday they could approach the outer circle of Radiohead's awesomeness."
Later, in his bedroom, he expressed regret at sticking up for the band, but contended privately that their Christian lyrics automatically put them on a different plane than Radiohead.
"We could be singing Switchfoot songs around the throne," he says. "We definitely won't be singing Radiohead." •
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